Do we ever say goodbye to our loved ones? Is it even feasible to say "I love you" to a loved one? It feels so filmy to even write about it, forget about ever saying it. Nanagaru used to quote this dialogue from a Hindi movie "Dard ka Rishta" - "Dard ka Rishta saha jaata hai, kaha nahin jaata". I still wonder.
What is goodbye? Are we ever able to say farewell? Thoughts keep impinging on memory. Are you ever able to move on? Is carrying the intensity of the feeling a sign of never achieving closure? Death is the final departure, but it is still not feasible to say goodbye. They say that Indian rituals deaden you to accept the finality of death. But why then do I keep looking over my shoulder to see if you are still there with me? Those tears when I don't even know that they exist. Those reminiscences that I thought time dimmed. That desperate feeling of regret for the moments that I know that I would forget with time even when I don't want to. That feeling of regret that the people I would love in the future would never get to know you.
Every time I see Vaaranam Aayiram, I get overwhelmed by the same feelings. I am not sure if I am investing too much into a movie that possibly doesn't deserve this part of me, but somehow a bit of me is forever locked in this movie.
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